Sunday afternoon

One peck bag of 'pick your own' apples....................... $19

3 slices of cheese pizza and 2 sodas..............................$8.50

One Dragon Ninja Halloween costume from iParty.....$27.99

One matching Dragon Ninja sword..............................$5.99

One Sunday afternoon with a 9-year-old boy.............. fun, but expensive

12 years ago today

Time sure flies! We look so young and relaxed here.

It was a beautiful fall day, just like today. And it was a beautiful, joyful wedding. Lots of flowers, as you can see here - even on the cake! Happy Anniversary, A!

Cancer and cranky

Still cranky. Not exactly sure why.

Some ideas: I have blue thread sticking out of my shoulder where I had the basal cell carcinoma removed. It doesn't hurt much anymore, but is feeling kind if itchy. And it's just weird to look over and see those blue threads. They won't be removed for over a week, still.

I think this whole episode is just making me feel vulnerable. I'm not dealing particularly well with this, how will I ever deal with breast cancer, if it happens to me?

Christina Applegate has been doing the rounds of talk shows to talk about her decision to have a double mastectomy once she discovered that she had breast cancer and had the BRCA1 gene. She makes it seems easy. I don't think it would be easy.

I'm tired of all the talk this month (breast cancer awareness month) about doing things to "beat" breast cancer. I don't think we can beat breast cancer until we can prevent breast cancer, and we won't be able to prevent it until we get the chemicals out of our environment. And that isn't going to happen soon.

Meanwhile...I'm still cranky.

A new low in the campaign

Apparently the McCain-Palin campaign realizes that the signs point against them winning, so they are stooping to a new low: making such negative and frightening comments about Obama that spectators are actually starting to think and say violent things during rallies. It has long been a fear of mine - and many others, I'm sure - that Obama won't live until the end of this campaign. If McCain and Palin continue to encourage this type of behavior, and Obama is killed... I can't even think about it. They have to realize that there are crazy people out there, and even regular people are feeling a bit crazy these days with all the financial stuff going on.. and that they need to be careful. Very careful. Remember the "bloodless transfer of power" that the U.S. is famous for?

2 on Yom Kippur (not by me)

Yom Kippur starts tonight, and due to a variety of things that have been going on, I'm really not prepared, emotionally, spiritually, or otherwise. But YK is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, so I should write something. Or at least post something.

So here are 2 things that other people have to say about YK:

--An interesting piece by Lisa Belkin from the NY Times entitled Faith and Family

--A beautiful poem by Rachel Barenblat, the Velveteen Rabbi, her wonderful take on a prayer that the cantor chants on behalf of the congregation during the high holidays:

HINENI

Here I stand
painfully aware of my flaws
quaking in my canvas shoes
and in my heart.

I'm here on behalf of this kahal
even though the part of me
that's quick to knock myself
says I'm not worthy to lead them.

All creation was nurtured
in Your compassionate womb!
God of our ancestors, help me
as I call upon your mercy.

Don't blame this community
for the places where I miss the mark
in my actions or my heart
in my thoughts or in our davening.

Each of us is responsible
for her own teshuvah.
Help us remember that
without recriminations.

Accept my prayer
as though I were exactly the leader
this community needs in this moment,
as though my voice never faltered.

Free me from my own baggage
that might get in the way.
See us through the rose-colored glasses
of Your mercy.

Transform our suffering into gladness.
Dear One, may my prayer reach You
wherever You are
for Your name’s sake.

All praise is due to You, Dear One
Who hears the prayers of our hearts.

The minyan puzzle

I have a love-hate relationship with minyan duty. (Minyan-duty, for the uninitiated, is the requirement that each family in the synagogue community attend a prayer service several times a year in order that there be a "Minyan" - a quorum of 10 Jewish adults - in order that certain prayers can be said. This is particularly important to mourners, who cannot say the Mourner's Kaddish - a special prayer for those in mourning - without a quorum of 10.) Evening minyan has to be the dryest, least-inspiring prayer service that there is. The leaders rush through it, barely announcing pages, barely reciting the prayers, mumbling, stumbling, rarely singing, making it one of the most unpleasant experiences imaginable. On the other hand, I'm happy to "do my duty" to make a minyan for those in mourning, especially since one day I will be in mourning and I will need a minyan to say Kaddish.

But there has to be a better way. Minyan services don't have to be as dry and lifeless as they are now.

This morning, for example, we had Sunday morning minyan duty, and I went since A & J had soccer. It was a longer service than the usual evening minyan, but even with all those opportunities to sing, to pray joyfully, to create meaning, it was as dry and as dull as always. The leaders rushed through, doing everything by rote. There was no explanation, no joyful prayer. Nothing.

I sat looking around at the others in the room. Did they feel the same? Or were they - unbelieveably - enjoying themselves somehow?

The leaders of the service, and those who seemed the most "into" the prayer, were older men who, presumably, are regulars to this service. This is the other piece to the minyan puzzle: it seems to be the territory of men. Judaism has done a pretty good job becoming more egalitarian these days, and women typically are included in most of the major roles in the synagogue. But somehow, minyan still seems to be mainly the purview of men. Maybe this is another reason why it doesn't speak to me.

I was having a little fantasy during the service this morning: what if the women take over minyan every now and then? Infuse some energy, some singing, some "ruach" (life) into the service? Wouldn't that be wonderful?

But then I thought: would women want to come? Would they care?

I don't know. But it's worth a try.

Calm is what we need

Today's Time Magazine had an article entitled Anger vs. Steadiness in the Crisis by Joe Klein.

I love this quote describing Obama:

There has been no grand cathartic moment for him in this campaign, but rather a steady accretion of trust, a growing public sense that he knows what he's talking about and isn't going to get crazy on us. His demeanor has rendered foolish all the rumors about his alleged radicalism. This guy is the furthest thing imaginable from an extremist; McCain, by his own admission, is the bomb-thrower in this race.

I'm starting to feel just a little bit better now.